Jan Brzechwa

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THE SLOUCH

By the TV sits a slouch,
Spends his whole days on the couch.
“Oh, I certainly take exception!
What a dirty misconception!
For who sits by the television?
Who eats breakfast with precision?
Who today was getting going,
Ably watching grasses growing?
And who just now has spilt his tea--
“Oh! You see, you see!”

By the TV sits a slouch,
Spends his whole days on the couch.
“Excuse me, sir! But if you care,
Just this morning? Brushed my hair!
And then later lost a button,
Eating, chewing, licking mutton,
In the evening drank some tran,
Or, I guess, that means jack squat?

By the TV sits a slouch,
Spends his whole days on the couch.
Didn’t go to school, because he’s too lazy,
Didn’t do his homework, his vision was hazy,
He didn’t tie his shoes, it was way too much work,
He didn’t say “hello”, my God what a jerk!
Didn’t feed his dog, the bowl was too distant,
Tried to feed his bird, but he just wasn’t persistent,
Meant to drink milk, but that involved pouring,
Was supposed to go to bed—didn’t—already snoring,
And in his dreams, that poor dumb bloke,
He worked so hard that he awoke.